Lycans and Vampyres at school
by TheMoosey
Summary: Hope my humor isn't too weird. Underworld charecters and charecters from my fic Eternal Life go to school. How would they be? Not very long, but funny.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: sorry random need to write this fic, even if you don't find it very amusing... Where I go to school we have A day and B day... four different classes on each day and we trade off. I just wanted people to understand in case people from other states, countries, etc. read this and not know what the hell I'm talking about...  
  
Moose  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Underworld. I do own anyone else that's not there.  
  
P.S. (still wondering if you can have a p.s. in a fic.) You might find some of the characters from my other fic Eternal Life  
  
P.S.S. if anyone knows how you can change your pen name without changing your entire account please let me know!  
  
Thanks  
  
~*~ A Day ~*~  
  
The blonde short haired choir teacher glared at Lucian.  
  
Choir Teacher: If I catch you sneaking notes to Sonja again it's ISS for you!  
  
Lucian who is pouting like a baby: Fine!  
  
Sonja: It's ok Mrs. Wheeler, I don't mind at all.  
  
Mrs. Wheels rolls those big bug eyes: Thank You!  
  
Singe and Soren are in the back sniggering uncontrollably when Lucian throws them a deathly glare.  
  
Mrs. Wheels: Now, please notice that our song is a Middle English song so we must make our vowels very tall.  
  
She opens her mouth unnaturally large and performs part of the song.  
  
Singe and Soren keep on sniggering.  
  
Mrs. Wheels glares at them too: Now we have been working on this song for quite a while, so I'm expecting you know it well.  
  
She instructs them to begin the song. Everyone starts singing in star-like voices. They are sitting erect in their black chairs on plastic black risers.  
  
Mrs. Wheels cuts in at a piano centered part where the singing is cut off: Sing dark like vampires!  
  
Charli and Phoebe who have also been passing notes while singing suddenly burst out laughing falling out of their chairs. Still having spastic laughs Charli gets yelled at, and is sent to ISS.  
  
~*~ ISS (in school suspension) ~*~  
  
Charli walks in with a super big smile. The room is smaller than a classroom with a few desks so that delinquent students may actually do something called work. An elderly woman sat behind a desk. Large thick glasses covered her unknown colored eyes. A sign that said Mrs. Barkley hung on her desk.  
  
She looks at Charli and smiles.  
  
Mrs. Barkley: What's it this time Charli?  
  
Charli smiles: Mrs. Wheels.  
  
As if understanding the entire story she replies: Alas, the blinding blonde haired cocaine addict has had another quarrel with you!  
  
Charli: Nope! She asked us to sing like vampyres, and Phoebe and I laughed our asses off!  
  
Mrs. Barkley gave a big smile and in one of the desks occupied Michael who was laughing his ass off. Kahn who was in the desk in front of him also went off into a sniggering mode.  
  
Charli showed herself a desk next to Michael's.  
  
Charli: What're doing here this time?  
  
Michael: Viktor caught me and Selene making out behind the vending machines again.  
  
Charli: And I'm guessing her dark father can't bring himself to sending her to ISS to destroy her perfect record?  
  
Michael: Yep. This is why she doesn't mind pulling me out of class every other day.  
  
Charli motions to Kahn: And you?  
  
Kahn: Viktor caught me playing with the knives again. I was threatening Trix.  
  
Charli: What happened to Raze?  
  
Kahn: He had a doctor's appointment.  
  
Charli: I hope he doesn't make a snack out of this one because Dr. Daye is really nice. He still gives me stickers and suckers after check ups.  
  
Michael rolls his eyes as much as he can. Charli bitch slaps him showing her spiral notebook. It was covered in Bob the Builder, Barney, Mickey Mouse, and Bugs Bunny stickers.  
  
Charli: Where's Riea? She should be here by now.  
  
As if on cue Riea walks in with a bloody nose and black eye. She is wearing a proud smile on her face.  
  
Everyone has a puzzled face.  
  
Riea: Kraven called me a blood in the hall way.  
  
Charli giggled: Let me guess he only got a detention?  
  
Riea: I dunno. Last time I saw him I waved him good bye in the ambulance.  
  
Michael, Charli, and Kahn all smiled big as Riea went to sit in front of Charli; next to Kahn. A bell rang.  
  
They all grabbed sack lunches as if this were an everyday thing  
  
Charli looked at her turkey sandwich and gave it to Michael who gave his Bologna to Riea who gave her PB and J to Charli. Kahn and Riea traded giving Riea a grilled cheese (though cold) sandwich.  
  
Charli looked at her bag and found maple leaf cookies (made in Canada) in a Ziploc. She tossed the bag to Mrs. Barkley who greedily took them.  
  
~*~ Lunch for everyone not in ISS ~*~  
  
Sonja met up with Lucian in the lunch line. She wrapped her hands around his neck. Singe was followed by Timothy in an argument. They were always arguing.  
  
Timothy acts out as the overhead speaker in a grocery store: Two lovebirds in aisle three. Two lovebirds in aisle three.  
  
Lucian punches him and blood comes out of Timothy's nose: Damn Lucian! No need to get all pissed off.  
  
Sonja smiles: Oh yes. He's way hotter pissed off.  
  
A group of rabid fan girls pop out of nowhere. They all angrily look at Sonja.  
  
What seems to be the leader of the group: Don't piss of the master. Not nice.  
  
You can hear mutters and all nodding in agreement.  
  
Lucian puts Sonja behind him protecting her: Now ladies.  
  
All girls look up in attention and awe.  
  
Lucian: I understand in this situation it wouldn't be very nice to be mean to master.  
  
Singe and Timothy snigger behind the "group's" back.  
  
Lucian deciding whatever he was going to say before wasn't good enough: But master is very annoyed and angry at Singe and Timothy. They have not been nice to master...  
  
Not able to finish his sentence rabid fan girls jump Singe and Timothy attacking them rampaging them as they try to escape.  
  
Two boys suddenly walk by.  
  
Boy #1: What the hell is wrong with them?  
  
Boy #2: They're in love with this ugly Lucian guy.  
  
All ears of the rabid fan club prick upwards, and like flying monkies attack the two boys.  
  
A/N: That was all the eventful things that happened on A-Day...hope you liked. Please review even if you don't like my humor. I probably should write this stuff when I'm extremely hyper which means I'll write in a few hours when it's the wee hours of the morning. And those awaiting my fic Eternal Life have no fear it's spring break and I'm going nowhere! ( Ciao! 


	2. BDay 1

A/N: I'm kind of upset because I had this chapter (or b-day) halfway done and I accidentally saved something over it...made me mad, so hopefully I can remember everything...oh yeah warning: this chapter may contain potty words so read at your own risk!  
  
Disclaim: Once again I do not own anything from Underworld, if I did then I would be most pleased with myself because it's a great investment...anyways enjoy!  
  
Btw... just so you know ... I don't write about every class every day mostly because I wanted these to be short and not long, and I can't think of all classes soooo....  
  
A Day:  
  
Choir Health (lunch afterwards) Math French/Spanish (depends who we talk about)  
  
B Day:  
  
World Geography/ World History Science (biology) and lunch after P.E. (physical education English (mwahahaha)  
  
Today's B-day starts in World Geography, and here's the seating chart just so you don't get confused...  
  
[Teacher's desk] [Front board] [Door]  
  
[Sonja] [Student #1] [Raze]  
  
[Lucian] [Selene] [Student #3]  
  
[Charli] [Michael] [Erika]  
  
[Gavin] [Kahn] [Soren]  
  
[Phoebe] [Student #4] [Kraven]  
  
~*~ B-Day ~*~  
  
Narrator: Teacher walks in. He is very old. Some wonder why he is still alive, and is it still legal to be breathing at this age...  
  
Student #1: Good Morning Mr. Wyentakento  
  
Narrator: Everyone looks at student #1 and instead says...  
  
Everyone: Good Morning Mr. Double U...  
  
Very old teacher: Mornin' students! Today we're going to learn 'bout my favorite place (much emphasis on favorite) TEXAS!  
  
Narrator: The teacher yells making everyone jump. Charli gets very irritated.  
  
Charli: Rolling buckweed. Ok next state!  
  
Geezer-like teacher: Now, now Charli. There's more to Texas than cowboys and ranches and duds.  
  
Charli: Yeah! There's cow's that go moo, and chickens that go squawk! Trust me I've been there!  
  
Million-year-old teacher: Really Charli? Where did you go?  
  
Charli: Lubbock.  
  
Narrator: Very very old teacher makes a big sly smile, which would scare pretty much everyone.  
  
Lucian laughs: Where the dust rolls faster then the people.  
  
Sonja turns around: You've been to Texas? You've been to the states?  
  
Narrator: Sonja looks a bit bewildered.  
  
Lucian looks sheepishly: Yes, my pet. A while ago.  
  
Narrator: Raze smiles at the memory  
  
Raze: Oh yea that's where you met that cowgirl!  
  
Narrator: He laughs.  
  
Raze: Great times brother. Wild and crazy.  
  
Narrator: Sonja glares at Lucian flipping her hair in his face ignoring whatever was about to come out of his mouth.  
  
Charli asks randomly: What's the difference between wild and crazy?  
  
Phoebe: Crazy is how you are normally; wild is how you are drunk.  
  
Narrator: A light brightens in Charli's eyes  
  
Charli: Oh yeah!  
  
Gavin sits thinking hard. Then he smiles devilishly.  
  
Gavin: Well we're going to have to get you drunk then...  
  
Narrator: Charli smiles back.  
  
Charli: Yes, we will...  
  
Narrator: Old guy interrupts them rudely.  
  
Charli: Very rudely.  
  
Narrator: Charli says to me  
  
Aged man: Now we are going to talk about Texas whether you like it or not!  
  
Narrator: And the writer suddenly decides to change the scene because talking about Texas may maker her fall asleep, and unless you don't want to hear about the story that would be bad...a moments later...  
  
French Narrator from Spongebob Squarepants who may be having an affair with vampirehuntr00's humor fic. Narrator: At lunch...  
  
Narrator who would be blushing if you could see her/him: Sonja is sitting next to Charli and Selene who is on Michael's lap. Sonja is still ignoring Lucian; who is now pining for her. Charli and Phoebe are arguing about something having to do with commas and how Charli doesn't use them.  
  
Charli: Why have damn commas. That's so incredibly stupid. Why not just make your sentences short and sweet. Therefore there is no need for commas!  
  
Narrator: Meanwhile...  
  
Kraven: This is my most diabolical plan yet!  
  
Narrator: Soren and Raze snigger. Raze has been banned from the former table because of the nasty things he said about Texas and cowgirls in front of Sonja.  
  
Soren: And what, pray tell, is this diabolical plan of yours?  
  
Kraven: Well...  
  
Narrator: Suddenly the writer gets a writer's cramp on the computer and you will just have to find out Kraven's diabolical plan next time...  
  
Kraven: NOOOO... this is so unfair! Just when the light shines on me you get a writer's cramp and have to do away with it. I get the feeling I'm not a loved character.  
  
Writer in a booming voice: Your not.  
  
Kraven: Oh, I see how it is now.  
  
Writer: Will you please shut up! My hands are hurting!  
  
Kraven: No... I want everyone to read my diabolical plan.  
  
Writer sighs: You know I can just have you expelled?  
  
Kraven: NO! You can't do that. No one would read a fic without Kraven! That's unheard of...  
  
Narrator: Writer rolls her eyes...  
  
Writer: Why don't we leave the readers with a cliffy therefore they're more in tuned to your plan and you'll get more reviews.  
  
Narrator: At the sound of reviews Kraven's face lights up. Then darkens at my words  
  
Kraven: Stupid dumb-ass narrator.  
  
Narrator: Hey watch your language bitch!  
  
Kraven: Oh look whose calling me the bitch, bitch!  
  
Writer in a very pissed off mood: OK! Kraven I am not firing my narrator I like him/her. Besides if he/she is dating the narrator from Spongebob, I can have him in the fic whenever I want to!  
  
Kraven: I still think narrators are stupid mother fucking...  
  
Narrator: Well you know what I think about vampyres?  
  
Someone randomly says for the Narrator: Sonja, Selene, Soren, Kraven, and Michael (who's only in it for Selene) Look at the Narrator who quietly dies down.  
  
Writer: This is so stupid. I'm wasting these peoples time! All because of you Kraven! Now deal with the fact that they won't read about your plan until next time!  
  
Narrator: So the very pissed off and cramped writer leaves with out a w- 


End file.
